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I have a client “Antonia”. A delightful  middle aged woman who came to me many years ago for Holistic healing right after surgery for uterine cancer. She told me she had a sense that it was her negative thinking that created her cancer and she didn’t want it to come back. Back then I was primarily doing imagery work and Homeopathy and Energetic Healing with people to help them explore their issues and heal them. As I became a specialist in EFT we integrated EFT into our work and we cleared many of the negative energy patterns that she was handed by her family. To give you a sense of the fear she was surrounded by as she grew up, her grandmother told her that she hoped that Antionia would fail her driving test so that she wouldn’t be able to drive. When her mother wouldn’t feel well her mother would say “God doesn’t want people to be happy”. 

Our issues are reflected in our bodies. Mostly they are held in subtle ways. With Antonia it was glaring. The family was fearful about Antonia growing up. Antonia stopped growing. She was taken to doctors to figure out what was wrong. Nothing was found. She stayed the size of a child. Antonia came from a religious Italian family and was sent to catholic school. She lived with her family until they died and inherited the family house where she lives to this day

Given that her family was riddled by fears she has made great strides in her growth and has remained cancer free. But one thing that has continued to be a problem for her is that she can’t feel God’s love. She would feel it when we did imagery work together but complained “it doesn’t last, I feel  like it will always be that way. She says she “ knows” God loves her but “just can’t feel it.” This has been a great source of pain in her life because it keeps her feeling that the cancer can come back anytime. ‘ I know that God knows what’s’ best for everyone and doesn’t want to hurt people but I see people get hurt. 

As you read this I’m sure you can see how she’s between a rock and hard place. I know that God wants what’s best and I got cancer, so it must be best for me, yet I know God loves me and doesn’t want to hurt me. Ironically, she is very active in her church and everyone sees her as very religious. When she told her priest that she didn’t feel God’s love he didn’t believe her. “I feel like an impostor” she told me. “ She looked at me and said I want to be able to feel God’s love like you do.” I told her there is no middle man for me. To me God is everything and everywhere. Therefore, I didn’t’ t have to do anything to feel connected just needed to acknowledge that truth. 

I got a hunch where her stuckness was coming from, so I asked her if she prayed. She said she did so I asked her to say her prayer out loud. She did. I asked her how did you feel when you just said that prayer. “I know God wants good things for me. she said in a voice that was somewhat dispirited. I realized what the problem was. I shared what I saw “You say that you believe God is everywhere yet you look outside yourself for God. When you see God as outside of you you need to ask for things. When you pray from that place you pray from lack.”

I shared my ideas about God and prayer with her to reframe her perspective and we did EFT on it as well.

She found the ideas I shared very helpful so I’ve decided to share them publicly. Knowing a bit of my background will help you understand how I got to my thoughts.

I come from a very orthodox jewish background. Although I’m not the least bit religious I was brought up in a family that sent me to Yeshiva where I learned how to think analytically. I heard some one once called that kind of thinking “impeccable thinking.” It became a double sided issue for me. On one hand, the thinking I learned how to do has made me able to find core issues for my clients very easily and quickly. For that I’ll always be grateful. But on the other hand I had great difficulty with the fact that I was taught how to question and turn things around and inside out but instead of finding my own answer, once the question was asked the answer was given to me from a source dated thousands of years ago. It created a problem for me as I grew older. Since I was taught how to question and then was given the answers I developed a frustrated intellectual energy inside me that was almost painful. It led me to want to get into debates. Thankfully I was able to release the whole issue with EFT. And although I still enjoy stimulating talk, I don’t; hunger for it anymore. 

When I was a teen I spent some time in Israel where I became fluent in hebrew. It allowed me to read and understand the jewish prayers in the prayer book for the first time. Up to that time I had memorized them but never understood them. Other than culturally, Judaism never spoke to me as it was fed to me so I explored other paths for my spiritual needs. 

The main problem that I had was that I wanted a direct route to God. The other was since I had an analytical mind It lead me to have a scientific bent. I didn’t’ need proof of God I wanted a direct experience of God. I guess you could say I was a spiritual scientist or a scientific spiritualist. I am to this day. 

I love words. If you read my “ about me” on my blog you know I love words. In the past years I’ve been learning about the real meaning and derivations of words and it began to put prayer and God in a whole new light for me. One that has made sense of so much and maybe one that will be valuable to you.

In prayer recited in Church the prayer starts with the English words “Blessed art thou lord our God.”  That  sentence connotes a power outside and separate from the one who is praying. If we go to the origin of that,  the jewish prayers which are in hebrew say “ Baruch atah” which means “blessed are you” but it does not say “our lord.” What it actually has are these hebrew letters. Transliterated they are: Yud Heh Vuv Heh. Sounded out it reads “Ya-ho-vah. What that word actually is, is the root of the verb “ to be” in hebrew which is ‘Leheeyot”. What Yud Heh Vuv Heh In fact means is the beingness of being. Sometimes you’ll hear it called “ The I am” but that’s also not accurate. 

In Hebrew school we were told to never say God’s name in vain. instead, we were supposed to say “Adonoi” when we prayed, which actually means “my lord.” But even that was forbidden to say unless we were praying so we were told to say “Ha Shem” which means “the name” Ironically, “the name” is closer to the real word for God because a name is really a vibration that is set in motion, just as in the bible it says “and first there was the word” Another word that is at the end of all jewish prayers is “amen” Amen comes from the word “Amunah” which in hebrew means belief and faith. In essence when we are praying we say at the end that we have faith it will be so.

We have more people in our world that believe in God than who don’t, more people who say that they feel religion is important than who don’t and increasing poverty and illness. I wondered what that was about.

What I realized was that in saying “we shouldn’t say Gods name in vain” we compartmentalize our days into God and “not God times”. By changing the name of God from  “beingness of beingness” and calling it “my lord” we took it from equal and in each of us to outside and above us. It took prayer which comes form the Sanskrit word meaning “to judge oneself as wondrously made” and transformed it instead into a pleading. Instead of the hands held together as a grounding of energy centers in the hands allowing us to feel the power of our prayer, the hands are held high in a beseeching manner. When we say at the end of our praying “Amen” we stamp it into being with the faith in that power that what we asked for will be granted.

The only rub is if we ask for our illness to be taken away or not come back as in Antonia’s case or our poverty to be resolved. If we state in prayer that we are sick, sad, homeless, lonely and on and on and then we say Amen, then we set a cause into motion. We have stamped that very thing into being. All of that because we put God outside of us. All of that because we see ourselves not as God even though the words say that there is nothing outside of us there is only being and we are that beingness as much as the computer I write on. 

We are learning how powerful our thoughts are. With each thought we set a vibratory cause into action and from that place as we emotionalize it, we strengthen its charge until it becomes a magnet that pulls form to the thought and makes it into matter. We know this on some level when we say something “matters.” We have put our emotional energy into it to make it have weight –to make it have form in our being.

If we admit this to be true then we realize that each prayer is meant to be an affirmation. We access the power of the beingness that is ALL (which means we are part of that ALL) and we set something into cause and we seal that with being in the faith that it will be so.

Suddenly the reason for all the poverty and lack made sense to me. We have been energizing the wrong thing. We were energizing lack. This I realized is why we need to be mindful of not using God’s name in vain. When we put the “I am” in front of an attribute we are empowering it to be even more so. Just as when you say “ I AM loved, precious, succeeding generous, courageous you are using Gods name the way it was meant to be used. to empower. To make manifest. 

So, try this out the next time that you think about prayer. Each thought that is charged with your feeling makes it magnetic. When  you feel connected to the magnificence of the miracle that you are, you will in that moment actually be praying. You will be judging yourself as wondrously made. And so you are, as the beingness of beingness that you are,  and so it is, Amen.

May all your moments be spent in prayer.

Have a perfect day!

Shulamit

http://www.LimitFreeSelf.com

Below are some EFT phrases that I used with Antonia that you can use as jumping off points.

• Even though I have a conflict inside me about what I learned about God I accept myself with all my feelings
• Even though I may feel that God is outside of me I can love and accept myself
• Even though I may feel separate from God I can love and accept myself
• Even though I may believe that I don’t have power I can love and accept myself
• Even though I may feel unworthy to have what I want I accept myself with all my feelings
• Even though I may have been taught that I am not the source of my plenty I can love and accept myself
• Even though I may not have faith that what I want is possible I can love and accept myself