The other day after a long day’s work I decided to watch some TV and happened on a bio pic about the model, Gia. Sadly, she died young of AIDS related to IV drug use. Throughout the move characters that represented Gia’s family and friends spoke about her. One thing that was talked about was an ongoing story she wrote when she was a little girl. She wrote about a girl with golden curls that everyone thought was beautiful. This girl with the golden hair lived in a beautiful house. The word beautiful was a running theme in her story. Gia herself had dark hair. Her mother was notably focused on Gia’s looks, noticing Gia’s pimples when she was in the process of detoxing from Heroine and making comments about her makeup. Gia was involved in a tumultuous attraction and relationship with another woman. That woman had blonder hair. She besieges this women with rooms of golden roses and calls her constantly until she finally tracks he down at her home. When she sees her she tells her “ You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen”

Gia not consider herself beautiful and had no sense of herself. She was terrified of being abandoned and clung desperately to her lover. She used drugs to kill the sense of discontent in herself. She found no sense in life.

It was clear from seeing Gia with her lover that Gia wasn’t having a relationship with this woman but what she needed that woman to be for her. To Gia, this was the beautiful girl she never got a chance to be because her mother never saw her real beauty. To Gia This was the woman that was going to love her and never leave her even if she stole or was violent. She was going to be loved no matter what no matter how bad a little girl she was.

Gia needed to be recognized and loved for who she was and to have the mother that was emotionally fully

there for her. The relationship wasn’t love because Gia was not present. Gia was stuck in her past as many people get stuck — not realizing they’re stuck in a loop and find themselves going from relationship to relationship looking for something they never got.

It made me think about true intimacy and what’s the difference between love and addiction.

“Tony” came to me “ feeling really stuck” because he’s miserable in a relationship triangle. He’s in a long-standing relationship that for years hasn’t been happy in. We’re like roommates now. But what’s really tearing me up is that their is someone at work who I’m crazy about. I can’t get her out of my mind when I’m not with her. She feels torn about our relationship and puts the break on and when she does that I can barely function. All I want is to hear her voice and see her again. It’s killing me.

She’s the only one I’ve ever wanted to spend my whole life with.

“ Sheryl” began session with me because she found someone that she fell in love with at firs site. The seen each other a few times but she feels unattractive around him. He looks at other woman when they are together but he feels to her like someone she’s knows her whole life. He’s my soul mate. I can’t explain it. But I go home and cry when I leave him because I lsit feel he doesn’t really see my worth. Why do I still get pulled into this. It’s so painful!

If you feel that its a male-female thing I can tell that t you change the sexes above the same holds true. If read you this and you feel your reading about you, you’re not alone. In our society we support the infatuated idea of love and encourage the addictive qualities of it. You can hear it in our songs and you’ll hear hear all the pain in what people call love. It’s no different for our movies and books. The pain of love is big box office.

One of the issues that people come to me for consistently is relationship. The issues range from being in abusive and toxic relationships to more subtle miseries of being in relationship that don’t feed the person in ways that are important to them.

Relationship loops are no different then having self limiting beliefs around money or chronic depression or anything else. Stuck is stuck is stuck.

These are the kinds of things I hear repeatedly. “I know this relationship isn’t good for me but I keep going back.”

“I love him so much I just can’t think of anything else when I’m away from him.” I get “almost panicky” when she doesn’t return my call.

Let’s talk about love at first sight. Or if it’s in social networking, love on first talk! You don’t know anything about the person and before your in “ love” with the person. One of my clients recently said it so beautifully. “ It was unnaturally smooth and before I even knew what was happening I was in it” Maybe that’s what we mean by “ falling” in love. The word itself tells it all — we are not choosing consciously we are pulled by something beyond ourselves.

What do you think is really going on?

When you feel that way so fast for anyone it’s not them that you’re responding to but how they make you feel. The feeling that you have that comes over you so fast is a tip off that something in you is being triggered. That something, as cliché as it sounds, I know you’re going to groan, is from your past. The feeling is usually connected to a caregiver that you needed as a source of love and approval for you as a child. Part of you has antennas out for people that will resonate and remind you of that caregiver.

“Dallas” is client of mine who came to me because he feels he can’t get out of a relationship that he knows is not good for him but “ I can’t’ seem to leave.” When I’m with her I feel insecure but strangely alive. There is a magnetism between us”

“Gerry” came ot me because she feels obsessed by her relationship. “When he doesn’t call me it tears me up inside. I can’t think of anything else.”

“Monica” says “i feel he completes me. I can’t imagine life without him. When he’s not around I feel this hole inside me.”

“Joseph” says when she doesn’t call I feel this nervous unsettled feeling inside me. Almost a desperation”

These are just some ways that people verbalize the addiction in their relationships that they call love.

Here are some things that will tip you off that what you call love is addiction.

• Feelings that you knew that person for a long time when in fact you just met them
• Feelings that you are irresistibly drawn to the person
• Feelings that you were meant to be together after barely meeting them
• Intense jealously and feelings of insecurity
• Feeling a sense of magnetism that you can’t explain
• Hearing yourself say “ I feel in love with him after an hour of talking to him”
• Feelings of deep loss when you’re not with him.
• Not being able to focus on your life fully when she’s not communicating with you.
• Seeing things that you don’t’ like about the person and making excuses for his behaviors.
• A feeling of being ungrounded in the feeling you call love.
• A feeling of insecurity when your with the person. Does he care about me. I’m never sure.
• Feelings that your high when your with her and life is dull when you’re not.

As apposed to genuine intamacy…

• Genuine intimacy comes through knowing you you are and a desire to experience all of who that other person is as your relationship unfolds in history with a person.
• Genuine love is grounded and makes you feel more secure when your not with that person.
• Genuine love is grounded and clear and makes both partners richer and stronger inside themselves and able to focus more easily and with more energy on their separate lives.
• Real love sees all the faults in the other person and doesn’t need to make excuses to feel good about being in the relationship.

How can EFT help?

EFT helps you identify the programs that are connected to the addictive behaviors and feelings that you’re having

The EFT process will allow you to quickly clear the self destructive patterns that have kept you being drawn into unhappy relationship loops.

With EFT it’s not about coming to terms with or understanding the programs that you run, There’s nothing wrong with that but it doesn’t change much on anything to know that. We need to clear programs os that we don’t play them anymore. EFT’s goal is our true freedom.

Look at your relationship. If they are addictive your being triggered by programs that your carrying from your past.

You owe it to yourself and your partner to clear those

programs so that you can see yourself and the other person clearly. Then and only then will you really be available to completely “stand” in LOVE.

Have a sweet day!

Shulamit

http://www.LimitFreeSelf.com

I have a client “Antonia”. A delightful  middle aged woman who came to me many years ago for Holistic healing right after surgery for uterine cancer. She told me she had a sense that it was her negative thinking that created her cancer and she didn’t want it to come back.

Our issues are reflected in our bodies. Mostly they are held in subtle ways. With Antonia it was glaring. The family was fearful about Antonia growing up. Antonia stopped growing. She was taken to doctors to figure out what was wrong. Nothing was found. She stayed the size of a child. Antonia came from a religious Italian family and was sent to catholic school. She lived with her family until they died and inherited the family house where she lives to this day

Given that her family was riddled by fears she has made great strides in her growth and has remained cancer free. But one thing that has continued to be a problem for her is that she can’t feel God’s love. She would feel it when we did imagery work together but complained “it doesn’t last, I feel  like it will always be that way. She says she “ knows” God loves her but “just can’t feel it.” This has been a great source of pain in her life because it keeps her feeling that the cancer can come back anytime. ‘ I know that God knows what’s’ best for everyone and doesn’t want to hurt people but I see people get hurt. 

As you read this I’m sure you can see how she’s between a rock and hard place. I know that God wants what’s best and I got cancer, so it must be best for me, yet I know God loves me and doesn’t want to hurt me. Ironically, she is very active in her church and everyone sees her as very religious. When she told her priest that she didn’t feel God’s love he didn’t believe her. “I feel like an impostor” she told me. “ She looked at me and said I want to be able to feel God’s love like you do.” I told her there is no middle man for me. To me God is everything and everywhere. Therefore, I didn’t’ t have to do anything to feel connected just needed to acknowledge that truth. 

I got a hunch where her stuckness was coming from, so I asked her if she prayed. She said she did so I asked her to say her prayer out loud. She did. I asked her how did you feel when you just said that prayer. “I know God wants good things for me. she said in a voice that was somewhat dispirited. I realized what the problem was. I shared what I saw “You say that you believe God is everywhere yet you look outside yourself for God. When you see God as outside of you you need to ask for things. When you pray from that place you pray from lack.”

I shared my ideas about God and prayer with her to reframe her perspective and we did EFT on it as well.

She found the ideas I shared very helpful so I’ve decided to share them publicly. Knowing a bit of my background will help you understand how I got to my thoughts.

I come from a very orthodox jewish background. Although I’m not the least bit religious I was brought up in a family that sent me to Yeshiva where I learned how to think analytically. I heard some one once called that kind of thinking “impeccable thinking.” It became a double sided issue for me. On one hand, the thinking I learned how to do has made me able to find core issues for my clients very easily and quickly. For that I’ll always be grateful. But on the other hand I had great difficulty with the fact that I was taught how to question and turn things around and inside out but instead of finding my own answer, once the question was asked the answer was given to me from a source dated thousands of years ago. It created a problem for me as I grew older. Since I was taught how to question and then was given the answers I developed a frustrated intellectual energy inside me that was almost painful. It led me to want to get into debates. Thankfully I was able to release the whole issue with EFT. And although I still enjoy stimulating talk, I don’t; hunger for it anymore. 

When I was a teen I spent some time in Israel where I became fluent in hebrew. It allowed me to read and understand the jewish prayers in the prayer book for the first time. Up to that time I had memorized them but never understood them. Other than culturally, Judaism never spoke to me as it was fed to me so I explored other paths for my spiritual needs. 

The main problem that I had was that I wanted a direct route to God. The other was since I had an analytical mind It lead me to have a scientific bent. I didn’t’ need proof of God I wanted a direct experience of God. I guess you could say I was a spiritual scientist or a scientific spiritualist. I am to this day. 

I love words. If you read my “ about me” on my blog you know I love words. In the past years I’ve been learning about the real meaning and derivations of words and it began to put prayer and God in a whole new light for me. One that has made sense of so much and maybe one that will be valuable to you.

In prayer recited in Church the prayer starts with the English words “Blessed art thou lord our God.”  That  sentence connotes a power outside and separate from the one who is praying. If we go to the origin of that,  the jewish prayers which are in hebrew say “ Baruch atah” which means “blessed are you” but it does not say “our lord.” What it actually has are these hebrew letters. Transliterated they are: Yud Heh Vuv Heh. Sounded out it reads “Ya-ho-vah. What that word actually is, is the root of the verb “ to be” in hebrew which is ‘Leheeyot”. What Yud Heh Vuv Heh In fact means is the beingness of being. Sometimes you’ll hear it called “ The I am” but that’s also not accurate. 

In Hebrew school we were told to never say God’s name in vain. instead, we were supposed to say “Adonoi” when we prayed, which actually means “my lord.” But even that was forbidden to say unless we were praying so we were told to say “Ha Shem” which means “the name” Ironically, “the name” is closer to the real word for God because a name is really a vibration that is set in motion, just as in the bible it says “and first there was the word” Another word that is at the end of all jewish prayers is “amen” Amen comes from the word “Amunah” which in hebrew means belief and faith. In essence when we are praying we say at the end that we have faith it will be so.

We have more people in our world that believe in God than who don’t, more people who say that they feel religion is important than who don’t and increasing poverty and illness. I wondered what that was about.

What I realized was that in saying “we shouldn’t say Gods name in vain” we compartmentalize our days into God and “not God times”. By changing the name of God from  “beingness of beingness” and calling it “my lord” we took it from equal and in each of us to outside and above us. It took prayer which comes form the Sanskrit word meaning “to judge oneself as wondrously made” and transformed it instead into a pleading. Instead of the hands held together as a grounding of energy centers in the hands allowing us to feel the power of our prayer, the hands are held high in a beseeching manner. When we say at the end of our praying “Amen” we stamp it into being with the faith in that power that what we asked for will be granted.

The only rub is if we ask for our illness to be taken away or not come back as in Antonia’s case or our poverty to be resolved. If we state in prayer that we are sick, sad, homeless, lonely and on and on and then we say Amen, then we set a cause into motion. We have stamped that very thing into being. All of that because we put God outside of us. All of that because we see ourselves not as God even though the words say that there is nothing outside of us there is only being and we are that beingness as much as the computer I write on. 

We are learning how powerful our thoughts are. With each thought we set a vibratory cause into action and from that place as we emotionalize it, we strengthen its charge until it becomes a magnet that pulls form to the thought and makes it into matter. We know this on some level when we say something “matters.” We have put our emotional energy into it to make it have weight –to make it have form in our being.

If we admit this to be true then we realize that each prayer is meant to be an affirmation. We access the power of the beingness that is ALL (which means we are part of that ALL) and we set something into cause and we seal that with being in the faith that it will be so.

Suddenly the reason for all the poverty and lack made sense to me. We have been energizing the wrong thing. We were energizing lack. This I realized is why we need to be mindful of not using God’s name in vain. When we put the “I am” in front of an attribute we are empowering it to be even more so. Just as when you say “ I AM loved, precious, succeeding generous, courageous you are using Gods name the way it was meant to be used. to empower. To make manifest. 

So, try this out the next time that you think about prayer. Each thought that is charged with your feeling makes it magnetic. When  you feel connected to the magnificence of the miracle that you are, you will in that moment actually be praying. You will be judging yourself as wondrously made. And so you are, as the beingness of beingness that you are,  and so it is, Amen.

May all your moments be spent in prayer.

Have a perfect day!

Shulamit

http://www.LimitFreeSelf.com

Below are some EFT phrases that I used with Antonia that you can use as jumping off points.

• Even though I have a conflict inside me about what I learned about God I accept myself with all my feelings
• Even though I may feel that God is outside of me I can love and accept myself
• Even though I may feel separate from God I can love and accept myself
• Even though I may believe that I don’t have power I can love and accept myself
• Even though I may feel unworthy to have what I want I accept myself with all my feelings
• Even though I may have been taught that I am not the source of my plenty I can love and accept myself
• Even though I may not have faith that what I want is possible I can love and accept myself

It’s natural to believe ourselves when we say we are ready to move on or heal our issues. It can be back pain, a chronic illness, success issues, relationship issues or anything else for that matter. 

As a society we are beginning to understand self limiting  beliefs and how they create self sabotage when it comes to non physical issues but not when it comes to being ill or having chronic physical symptoms.

“ Sara” is a new client of mine. She was diagnosed with cancer and came to me for Emotional Freedom Techniques ( EFT) to heal a chronic depression.  As we spoke she told me she had a history of pains that were never diagnosed. “ You have no idea how many doctors I’ve seen. No one knows what it is. They keep telling me there is nothing wrong. I have a fear that there is something very serious and they haven’t found it yet.”

I asked her if she had the pain right then and she said she did. She pointed to the left side of her abdomen.

Since through my many years as an imagery therapist I’ve seen again and again the brilliance and truth of the communications of our body through imagery, I felt that it would be good to do imagery with her to give her body a chance to tell her what might be going on.

As she sat focusing inwards the pain moved around her body. I knew that this meant that the pain was most probably not a physical issue as much as an energetic one which is why the doctors never found anything in their tests. She said her pain was now in her head near her left eye. It was in a place that she had a problem with a few years ago  She spoke about when it started. “It was a cold winter day and there was a big wind and I didn’t wear a hat. After that I felt this pain near my eyes and my face and got a fever. The doctors said it was nothing. It lasted for months and comes and goes even now. “

Our bodies hold the metaphors of the issues we don’t resolve. Literally hold the issues. Since I knew that to be true I thought about the state that she was in when she first got the symptoms. It was cold out, she was unprotected, her head was vulnerable and she was injured by the harsh wind. 

Unprotected, vulnerable, injured by something harsh, I thought to myself. This is exactly what “ Sara” experienced in her childhood from her mom. She was an only child. Her mother was very harsh and as a child when “Sara” was ill she would ask for her mother to come to her and her mother would be abusive –angry at Sara for being sick. Sarah learned to be quiet and push all her feelings down inside her. 

I suggested we do EFT for her pain and I had her tap addressing the feeling of “unprotected, vulnerable and injured”, not once addressing the pain directly. As we tapped her pain lessened. I went on to have her tap some more but this time introduced the idea of “ I don’t want this pain anymore. I am holding the issue of this little girl that I was and I can have compassion for her and love her but I don’t need to keep holding this pain. We tapped a few rounds on that and since her pain had decreased from the general tapping on that issue I thought that her tapping on it more specifically would have cleared it. Instead, she said  “The pain is the same.”

Typically when that happens it’s because a part of us doesn’t want to give up the condition. The reasons for that can be myriad and I may talk about that in another post. 

Going with that I switched our tapping to saying “ I have this issue and I’m not ready to give it up” After a few rounds of that she looked at me surprised  and said “ The pain got better as soon as we tapped on that.” 

We will never heal if all of us doesn’t agree. If you are dealing with an issue that feels stubborn ask yourself if there is a part of you that may not want to give up the issue. Otherwise even if you do get “better” it will come back.

It can feel uncomfortable to admit your torn about giving up your symptoms because it’s frowned upon in our society to feel that way. The fact is that all parts of us and all symptoms we create have as their intention to make us feel safe. Even if it means we create illness to keep us in our comfort zone.

When you explore this inside yourself, approach yourself with an attitude of compassionate interest. Exploring your inner being is like any relationship. Once it feels your compassion and interest –it’s likely to want to reveal it’s truth.

Have a sweet day!

Shulamit

http://www.limitfreeself.com

Herniated disc may be just another way of saying” I don’t support myself”

When we don’t’ pay attention to our feelings we force our body to carry the burden of them. —LITERALLY

Interactive Guided Imagery is powerful and creative tool for exploration of your inner being. EFT is stunning in its’ ability to clear self limiting beliefs. The two together used ot address issues are often nothing short of magical.

If you have any questions about these methods and how they may be helpful to you feel free to contact me.

Have a perfect day!

Shulamit

What idol are you worshipping?

I had an interesting interchange with someone today. he said “ Oh are you one of “ so and so’s people?” He was referring to a popular figure that I had taken a seminar from. I looked at him and said “ No, I’m not anyone’s person. I think he might have been offended but it was not a personal comment to him. It was something that had been in the tip of the tongue of my mind.

The universe works so beautifully. I had just been pondering that whole idea of idol worship and there he was with the question. 

It’s no accident that we have a show in America called — American Idol. We have fun with the name and the whole process of choosing the “Idol” but I’ve been thinking more deeply about what idol worship is about. 

I come from a Jewish background and when I think of the idea of idols, it makes me think of the commandment from the bible “ Thou shalt not worship idols.” It was given to a people who are supposed to believe in one god. But if you’ve read any of my other posts you know that I see the bible as a a metaphysical teacher about staying energetically healthy.

I remember I had a conversation with my son many years ago about prayer. He said that prayer was demeaning. I thought at the time that he was just angry about his life and taking it out on god so to speak, But what I see now is that even though he may not have meant to, he spoke a very profound truth.

So what happens when we worship idols or an idol?

it feels so good to have an idol. We get a high that comes off adulation but at the same time we invest our psychic energy in something outside of ourselves. We see the thing or person that we idolize as having the answer for us.

We’ve put a tremendous load of expectation on something outside us and we are bound to be disappointed unless we keep ourselves from seeing things as they really are. No body or thing has our answers.

I once did an EFT session with a client who had been spending thousands of dollars going to seminars given by a popular self growth figure. The name is not important.  Anyway, she said to me “people spends thousands to come to his seminars for him to stand on the stage and say “ you have to get rid of your “micro programs” and in the same breath tells us not to look at him for our happiness.” She had looked to him as did all her fellow seminar goers for the answer but when they got home they were hit by the same issues that they went to the seminar with. She was very disappointed. She had gotten high at the meetings but came home and crashed in her reality.

Its easy to have idols. And so tempting to worship them. In the process we see them as the answer outside of us and we give our personal power away. 

When we think of idols we think immediately of people. But, there are all forms idols.

Our idols can also be ideas, or things. 

Take a moment to ask yourself what your idols are? Is it money, a spiritual guru, a way of thinking or a charismatic self development personality? If you find yourself get defensive it’s tip off you have an idol that you don’t want to admit to yourself.

It may seem like my question is a confrontation, but it’s not. It’s a self care moment.

In a culture that creates idols all the time it’s hard not to have one. It’s good to take a moment every once in a while to check in to see what we are doing with our precious energy. 

I want this blog to be a conversation that we can all benefit from. Please post your comments here so that others can enjoy your response and share this post with anyone you think will appreciate it.

If you’d like to know more about my work and how I can benefit you in creating the life you love and living with authenticity, visit my website at www.limitfreeself.com.

Have a powerful day!

Shulamit

Anyone that knows me knows that I will question anything. Maybe it’s because I was brought up in a very religious jewish family and was sent to parochial school where we studied the Torah. “Why” was the word we used all day long. We turned things upside down and inside out. “Why did he do this?” ‘Why did they say it like that?” We left nothing unquestioned. We would dissect the meaning of the placement of a dot!

Or, maybe it was because I was brought up to be a good little girl and trust all that my mom said. The only problem was my mom lied A LOT. So I was in a bind. I could believe my mom, feel accepted and be turned against my own truth or confront her on her lies and feel the force of her anger and the cold air where her acceptance once warmed me.

I chose acceptance. As children we all choose acceptance over truth. We have to. We die without it.

I denied my own truths until I had no sense of myself left. That forced me to go on a journey of finding and expressing my personal truths — an exploration that I think is essential and is core to my work with my clients.

But before we speak our truths to others we have to admit them to ourselves in the sacred space of our being. if we can’t even utter them to ourselves we can never hope to be free.

I’ve been reading a book called “ The Singing Cure” by Paul Newham. I picked it up in hopes that it would help me strengthen my voice for songs that I’m planning to record. It made me think about something that I had never given a lot of thought to — that our voice’s original purpose was for creating sounds to express feelings and experiences.  I learned that the focus of the play in Greek theater was to show archetypical characters who’s function it was to elicit feelings that the audience could identify with. The idea was to get the audience aroused and have a cathartic release. The role of the Greek chorus was to intensify the potency of the characters. Experiencing theater was connected with emotional health and was considered therapeutic. The chorus’s sounds, encouraged the audience to express their forbidden and inexpressible feelings — what Jung, a colleague of Freud, called the “shadow” feelings.

The chorus made sounds, screeches, moans, sobs, and laughter.  They could never be exactly the same each time. There were no notes and no scales. 

Through time religion took over the function of the plays and the church began to create notes that were to be reached and repeated exactly. There was sounds that were vocal considered ‘beautiful” and sounds that were not considered beautiful were disdained. 

Where once voice was a precious vehicle of our being’s expression, our voice was made into something that had to fit into the cage of acceptability.

As I sat there reading I could feel how that was the very moment that our voice was contorted in upon itself.

What happens when our voice is taken?

One of the first times you see that in children is when they hide their face when they cry and keep sniffing back their tears. They’ve learned that letting people hear and see their authentic feeling is not oK. Little girls get messages that they aren’t “pretty” when they cry. Their voice has begun to be choked. In adults it shows up in self consciousness in sex and a fear to have full voiced orgasms because they may be too loud.

I could feel this article needed to be written but it wasn’t until I had a session with a new client of mine that I felt I couldn’t put it off any longer.

My client “ Melissa” is a sweet, somewhat timid and very pretty young woman who started seeing me for depression, anxiety, agoraphobia and blood sugar problems. She has had other therapies and years on medications and wasn’t getting better. “Melissa” has a tyrannical father who badgers, screams at and denigrates her since childhood. In our sessions we have addressed her fears of her father who she currently lives with. 

We had three sessions so far and she’s been feeling less fearful and getting out daily. Today in our session she said almost apologetically, “I was doing really well and then I regressed. My dad screamed in my face and for the first time I spoke up and while I was trying to speak he screamed and screamed into my face until I was crying”  Even though she sat there so calmly and her voice was sweet I got an intuitive hit that she hated her dad. 

I always reality test my intuition and asked. “Is it possible that you hate your dad?” 

“Oh” she said as she looked a bit uncomfortable. “I can’t say that.  He’s my dad. I love my dad and I respect him” I asked her if she had ever allowed her self to think that she might feel hate towards him.  She laughed uneasily and said she felt she couldn’t feel that. “Hate is such a bad word.  I love him” He’s my dad”. As if to say that since he was her father she was supposed to love him. 

I asked her if she met him on the street as a total stranger and he behaved as he does towards her would she love and feel respect for him.

She said “No.”

It wasn’t until I asked that that she realize she had never allowed herself to even entertain her true feelings for him. ” Yes. I guess it’s possible.” she said hesitantly.

What reinforced the truth of that was when we used EFT to clear any hate and disrespect she felt for him, she felt  like a weight had been lifted. “I feel so much lighter and the colors I see are brighter.” 

This is just one example of how we turn against ourselves by lying to ourselves to conform to rules that were created outside of us.

So here is my question.

Who says that just because someone is your parent you are supposed to feel love for them? Who says that if someone is your parent you are supposed to respect them? If  you meet a stranger you would expect them to earn that from you. Why is it any different for parents? And who says that you have to have love for your child? What if you don’t? Do you think that telling yourself that you love when you don’t makes it any less true.

You can’t be free with lies inside you. They may sound pretty but they’re poisonous.

When you want to get to truth you need to allow all its faces and sounds. 

I recently saw a move called “Sophie’s Choice.”

 Sophie was a nazi camp survivor who was given a choice about which child would die of her two children. She favored her son and chose him. Sadly he was killed as well,  but she killed herself inside for making the choice of favoring a child. Who says we are “ supposed” to love all of our children the same? It’s part of the human experince to resonate with one person and not as much with another. One form of resonance is called “love”. If she hadn’t condemned herself for that she could have forgiven herself more easily and moved on. 

I see the same thing in racism and classism. We  refuse to admit to our racist and classist feelings.

I know it’s not something that you’ re “supposed” to say in our society. I know that it may feel like its a horrible thing to feel but the fact is it’s a feeling. Feelings don’t ask for permission. They just are. Denying that we feel what we feel doesn’t make the feelings go away. It makes them a lie that shuts down our energy and gives us less space for healing. Only then can we move forward.

You deserve to have your true voice with all its notes. You deserve to have access to the full rage of all the highs and the lows of your emotional range. You don’t have to accept the constriction of your voice because society says so — your ethnic background says so — your religion says so. 

If you think about the bible the way I do. You’ll see that it teaches truths about our energetic being. Since the core of all the work I do comes from an appreciation of how our energetic being work I see the commandments as guidelines to keep us energetically healthy. 

It tells you to ‘honor” your mother and father. It doesn’t tell you to love or respect them. It says honor them as you would honor a stranger you meet in your day because they are a human being. Treating a person with disregard hurts you.

The bible says “Thou shalt not lie” — not because you’re a bad person if you lie, but because it twists your energy field out of alignment. You hurt yourself when you lie to others but you hurt yourself as much and maybe more when you lie to yourself about what you feel.

• Feelings are not right or wrong — they just are.
• Feelings don’t need permission to exist — they just do.
• Feelings have their own brilliant logic to them and if you follow where they are going they will ultimately bring you exactly where healing needs to happen. That in itself makes feelings perfect.

You may be in a relationship or situation where you are lying to yourself. If you have a hard time admitting to yourself what you feel about someone or something try this.

Find a time and place you won’t be disturbed.

Center yourself.

1. Image the person or situation.
2. Ask yourself “if I met this person on the street would I want to be their friend?”
3. What feelings would they bring up in me?
4. If I were to allow myself to have what I consider ugly feelings about this situation or person what would it/they be?

We are most deeply programmed from birth to seven years old. If you realize that in you’ve been censoring yourself it’s the child inside you that has learned how to lie to himself to be accepted. The price is too high.

1. Image that child in you that feels its not ok to have those feelings and give her permission to feel what she feels.
2. Tell her that you understand that it is uncomfortable and even painful to admit how she feels.
3. Tell him that it doesn’t make him bad for feeling that way. Feelings just are.
4. Be as supportive as you can.

Using EFT you can begin to create space for permission to have all your feelings.

Here is a general set up phrase to use.

Even though I feel uncomfortable about admitting I feel this way I deeply and completely accept myself.

Do as many rounds as you need until you feel more acceptance in you.

When we don’t allow ourselves to sing our truth as discordant as the sound may be to ourselves, then we rob ourselves of the flexibly to reach the sublime notes of our being as well.

When you are doing any of the exercises in this page take care of your comfort. If you find as you are tapping that you are being overwhelmed by feelings please stop and contact an EFT practitioner who has the skills and experience to guide you in the process safely.

As always all sounds are welcomed on my blog!

If you’d like to know more about my work visit http//:www.limitfreeself.com.

Shulamit

So many couples have problems that are a result of one being an extrovert and the other an introvert.

There is a misunderstanding that they both have to do with how social someone is or how many friends they have but it’s really all about the person’s nervous system. Introverts are  over stimulated and they want to pull back from stimulus and the opposite is true for extroverts, of which I am, par excellence.

I LOVE loud music and shopping malls and big groups of people I don’t know. My sweet hubby is the opposite. When we visit Manhattan, he wants to get out of the city when we are in traffic and I love the electric energy of it. He hardly ever puts on music and I have something audio going on much of the day. I LOVE to multitask and he can’t handle if I say a word while he’s on the phone. Honey I cant hear you both!

Can you relate to this?

Its not personal. It’s our nervous system and with EFT you can normalize both extremes. 

An over stimulated nervous system is one big reason for shyness in children. We all have temperaments when we are born. Sometimes the reason whey some one is shy has emotional basis to it. We can clear all those out with EFT. But sometimes its just the way we are made. 

The problem with being too extroverted is that you crave company and stimulus and can burn the candle at both ends or be distracted from doing things that you should be getting done.

To the extreme it can make extroverts feel lonely when they are alone too long and introverts can feel shellshocked and want to retreat.

It’s great to be able to balance yourself.

Typically introverts and extroverts couple together is this issue comes up often in couple session with me.

I use EFT now when I do couples work and it brings the couple to a greater love of each other.

Here is my first experience with EFT and it made me a believer. 

At the end of the post I’ll give you a tapping recipe that you can use anytime to balance your system.

Doing this daily will lower your stress in general.

_____________________

For almost 10 years I experienced my hubby dragging himself home complaining about “the mongol hordes” where he works. He was miserable because he was an introvert in an extrovert’s job. He has to greet lots of people daily. Aside from wanting him to not suffer I was getting exhausted being around him since I was picking his dragging energy up as well. It got to the point where I almost didn’t want him to open the door. Don’t get me wrong, I love him dearly but you knew how it feels to be around someone when they are complaining and exhausted all the time. It’s no fun. So I told him I wanted to try something.

I had him imagine the “mongrel hordes” and tap on.

Even though I am so overwhelmed by the mongrel hordes. 

Even though I find them so exhausting!

Even though I feel if I see another baby carriage coming at me I may scream

I had him tap on reminder phrases

mongrel hordes

so overwhelmed

they’re exhausting me

my nervous system is overloaded

After we did several rounds on each I asked him what his charge was from 0-10 and he said 0.

I asked him to try to get his charge up while I created an image of hordes of hordes coming in the door.

He said “hon, I can’t, it just doesn’t bother me.

Life intervened and I forgot about our tapping.

Several days later we were walking on a street that was full with boisterous teens just released from their school buses. Since I’m an extravert’s extrovert, I was just drinking it all in as my mind was busy with other thoughts.

After a few minutes my husband looked at me in surprise and said

“Honey, I know that they’re; noisy but it doesn’t bother me.

I was taught that when your an introvert or an extrovert you can’t change. “They” were wrong.

Well, that was years ago and He hardly ever comes in dragging and complaining. He’s even asked me to go out for walks when he’s come home!

When I think of all the couples I’ve worked with who had difficulties around introvert married to extrovert.

With  EFT both can be balanced. 

Is there anyone is your life that could do with that kind of change? 

1. Focus in on your nervous system, you may have a picture or a sense of it
2. Stay tuned into your feeling  and do this simple tapping sequence. 
3. Find the fleshy area on the side of your hand between the bottom of your pinky and the top of your wrist. Take one hand and tap into the karate chop area of the other hand while repeating the sentence below three times. 

Then, staying tuned into your feeling tap your fingers tips about 7 times on each acupuncture points below. 

• Top of your head 
• Brow ( where brow meets the bridge of nose)
• Side of eye (in front of temple)
• Under eye (on the cheek bone)
• Under nose
• Between mouth and chin
• Where your collar bone meets your rib near your breast bone
• Under your arm (about 4 inches below your arm pit)

Even though my nervous system is over/under stimulated (fill in what’s right for you)

Use this to tap on while tapping your points.

You don’t have to feel the issue while you tap. Just focusing on it will make a difference.

If you want to learn more about EFT check out the other posts and my website at http://www.limitfreeself.com.

Have perfectly balanced day and as always I’d love your thoughts.

Shulamit

The Season's of forgiveness: The beauty of our natural cycle

Throughout the years I’ve been doing client sessions I’ve been seeing a phenomenon that’s increasing — a phenomenon I call spiritual correctness.  Spiritual correctness is the corollary to political correctness, but in the realm of spirituality instead. 

People want to be spiritually evolved for many reasons. Some people believe that if they’re more spiritually evolved they’ll experience less pain in their life. That comes from the idea that attachment leads to suffering. There’s nothing wrong with believing that, but there’s no evidence that life is less painful if we’re more spiritually evolved. Some people actually experience more pain as they become sensitive to the world and experience deepening compassion for human kind’s sufferings. 

Some people want to become more spiritually evolved out of a belief that they should be liberated from their ego. The ego is considered the root of human pain. They believe if they can get rid of the ego or subdue it they’ll finally have peace. With the goal of extinguishing the ego, they’re on the lookout for all the ways the ego expresses itself. That leads to self criticism which to save face stimulates the ego’s desire to see itself as better — creating a spiritual one upmanship that can lead to an inner spiritual arrogance.

In the process of trying to liberate themselves from their ego they inadvertently strengthen it. - a spiritual Catch 22. 

When you hold that there’s a way that you are supposed to be or act as you grow spiritually or have a timeline for how things are supposed to show up inside you or how your supposed to feel, you begin to fake it. You don’t mean to — you just do. You begin to fool yourself about where you are rather than just be where you are. You begin to speak and act with spiritual correctness. 

There are lots of attitudes that reflect  spiritual correctness, They show up as beliefs about sexuality, money, success, and especially forgiveness. 

 It’s not real forgiveness. It’s a mouthed forgiveness that we talk ourselves into thinking we feel so we can feel good about ourselves. After all if we consider ourselves spiritual evolved we’re supposed to forgive. Right? 

I hear my clients speak about incidents and traumas and they say “ Oh, but I’ve forgiven that person. I don’t really think about it much anymore.” But when we go over the details invariably the hurt and anger is still there. It’s been covered up with spiritual correctness.

It may sound like I’m diminishing the importance of forgiveness or the act of forgiving but I’m not. Forgiveness is the most healing action we can take — not for others — but for ourselves. Ultimately I do forgiveness work with all of my clients. But, because of spiritual correctness and the glamour and allure about being seen as spiritually evolved, we can talk ourselves into thinking we have forgiven,  when we are actually suppressing the feeling that we need to let out so we can really heal.

There’s a natural dynamic in our being that wants to bring things up and out – an innate mechanism that operates the same way in our emotional being as it does in our body.  In Homeopathy we call it the “Law of cure” It says that the our beings will always bring things to the surface. Boils, crying, yelling, bodily discharges all are expressions of the healing principle in us.

Soaring Crane Chi Kung

Soaring Crane Chi Kung, is an energy exercise that focuses on gathering energy in the body and moving that energy around inside us with the goal of clearing energy blockages. One of Soaring cranes forms is called “standing meditation.” The person’s task is just to become mindful of the energy (aka Chi) as it moves inside them, observe it and allow the chi to move as it needs to for healing. As the stuck energy gets released the energy moves the blockages up and out. That can show up as spontaneous body movements and or involuntary vocal sounds. By allowing the process to have a life of its own eventually the energy blockages are released and the persons body comes to stillness. The person is left with an inner sense of calm and greater well being.

In shamanic rituals of healing there are times when the person who is being healed lets out yells and grunts. I say lets out because they are not deliberate. They are evidence of the body/mind working perfectly to heal itself. 

Our feelings function with the same principle. Our emotions need to come up and out. The word itself says that. “E” means “out” and motion is movement. They need to come up from the subconscious to the conscious so that they can be released. 

When we talk ourselves into feeling forgiveness we push what’s trying to be released in the opposite direction. We hurt ourselves. 

It makes me think of that song by the The Byrds - Turn! Turn! Turn! (to Everything There Is a Season)

To everything - turn, turn, turn

There is a season - turn, turn, turn

And a time for every purpose under heaven

In the same way that there are seasons in our universe there are seasons in us. The seasons in us may change from one moment to the next but there are seasons and there is a cycle. Within that cycle there is great wisdom and perfection. Just as each leaf experiences this cycle. Our process of forgiveness has it’s cycle.

In winter the ground is cold and hard and the bud is inside the tree. All the time the bud is in the tree it’s experiencing transformation. If it were to come out prematurely the cold that would hit it would freeze and kill it — hurting the tree. When the time is right, the warmth of spring comes and the bud moves closer to the surface of the tree. It’s getting ready to show itself. As the sun’s warmth increases it nurtures the budding process and the bud take a tiny step out from the tree bark’s protection. It’s beginning to expose itself for all to see in it’s utter delicate green vulnerability.

As spring moves on, the intensifying sun warms the earth and the tree’s bud becomes a leaf that’s sharply shaped and a more robust green. The leaf of spring is met by the ripening heat of summer and the transforming powers of the summer sun. The leaf is fully formed and moving into the fall of its life. 

Now fully exposed and stronger from the proper timing of its budding the leaf’s greatest beauty comes. The leaf is preparing to fall free from the tree so that the tree can continue its evolution. 

The process of forgiveness is about reclaiming your wholeness but in the process of feeling you have to forgive when you’re not ready, you actually get more disconnected to yourself, You deny your experience and suppress yourself. You make yourself even more stuck in the issue.

I love the phrase in the bible that says “ as above so below” To me it means the macrocosm is mirrored in the microcosm. –Just as fractals always have the whole of themselves in them,  our forgiveness needs the four seasons. 

Our anger needs its incubation in the cold hard earth of our being. It needs to be followed by the warmth of our heart’s sun to transform our hurt from anger into sadness. With the inner momentum and guidance from our heart we begin to lift up our pain getting ready to release it and finally we let the pain fall so we can be free to keep growing. We forgive.

Using EFT for forgiveness work

You may have been hurt by someone you thought you forgave. Bring the incident to mind and allow yourself to feel the details of the experience. You may find that you really haven’t let it go. Let go of any spiritual rules you may have as you do this exercise. The leaf may still be hanging onto the tree. 

Or, think about an issue you want to be able to forgive. What season are you in with it? Do you feel cold and hard, warm and budding, clear and ready to bring total light to it, or about the let it go completely. 

Time doesn’t heal things. That’s a myth. Energetic shifts do. Allow yourself to be where you are in relationship to the incident or feelings about the person in terms of forgiveness. 

You can use EFT to increase the sun of compassion inside you but first you need to give yourself permission to be with your anger and hurt. You have to allow yourself not to want to forgive. The important thing is to just to be where you are as you tap about it.

You can use EFT for each of the stages and shift as the feelings inside you change.

Using EFT:

1. Allow yourself to bring to mind your feeling 
2. Stay tuned into your feeling  and do this simple tapping sequence. 
3. Find the fleshy area on the side of your hand between the bottom of your pinky and the top of your wrist. Take one hand and tap into the karate chop area of the other hand while repeating the sentence below three times. 

Then, staying tuned into your feeling tap your fingers tips about 7 times on each acupuncture points below. 

• Top of your head 
• Brow ( where brow meets the bridge of nose)
• Side of eye (in front of temple)
• Under eye (on the cheek bone)
• Under nose
• Between mouth and chin
• Where your collar bone meets your rib near your breast bone
• Under your arm (about 4 inches below your arm pit)

Winter

Even though I don’t want to forgive this person 

Even though I am beginning to feel like I’d like to forgive this person but I’m really resistant

Even though I want to forgive and I feel like I just want to move on there is still a bit of anger left

Spring

Even though I’m not angry anymore I still feel really sad and hurt and I can’t forgive yet

Even though I was really angry and sad I feel like I’m finally ready to let this go

Even though I feel so vulnerable without my defenses

Summer

Even though I felt the person really hurt me and its hard to believe but they may actually be doing their best given who they are

Even though I couldn’t see compassionately before I realize that I’ve hurt others in the past and I realize I was doing my best and if I could do better I would have

Fall

Even though I felt like I could not forgive that person I am forgiving now and It feels really good to let this go.

Even though I thought I wasn’t able to do it I forgive this person and It feels so good to be free of this 

Do several rounds of the process on the sentences that speak most to you until you begin to feel energy loosen inside you. Signs of loosening stuck energy is yawning, sighing or feeling the energy move inside you.

As free yourself of your pain, anger and sadness, you’ll feel the sun of love and compassion shinning brighter inside you and illuminating the colors of your inner being.

As always I’d love your thoughts,

To learn more about Emotional Freedom Techniques visit my website at http://www.limitfreeself.com

Shulamit

I have a family member who works in the restaurant business. He tells me that some customers actually will spout at him “The customer is always right.” as they spew angrily at him about the food that they ordered. He has to get the manager and the manger has to go mollify the customer. The manager has to make nice. 

I recently had a client stop sessions because I have a policy to not make appointments by email. I wanted to give her as much as I could within that policy and offered everything I could short of confirming an appointment by email. It would have taken a simple phone call to me to set one up but instead she kept sending emails. Her emails actually got lost in other email boxes. Technology is far from perfect.

Since we had no communication, I didn’t know that her emails were lost and her anger was building thinking I was ignoring them. By the time I found  her email she had so convinced herself that I was ignoring them that she insulted me in her last email.  

In the past I would have taken it. After all the customer is always right. Right? No. Not right. Just as we as business people are not always right. Our customers are not always right. No one is always right.

She was insulting  and when her mails got lost she assumed that they were ignored. She could easily have called to verify I got them. She could easily have gotten her needs met by being kind and having us come to a solution that would have addressed her needs as a client and my needs as a practitioner. I would have been happy to explain and clear the confusion but she didn’t. Those were the facts.

I help my clients become their authentic selves and it obliges me to walk my talk. I lovingly expressed myself and the perspective I had about her responses. I held us both as individuals that had the right to respectful truthful expression. 

This incident and the ones I hear from my clients started me thinking a lot about the belief that “The customer is always right.” I’ve had some experiences as a person in business where customers were not right. Not only were they not right, some of them were insulting and some actually abusive. Outside of these few I’m blessed with clients that I look forward to talking to daily. It’s a handful of times out of many years of my practice. But the few times that I have had a client who did not treat me well left an impression and it made me think about what we accept as normal. 

One of the issues that we deal with in all businesses is that we hold this belief that the customer is always right. What is that about? Clearly you know if you’ve been in any office or had your own business that the customer is not always right. I have many sessions with my own clients during which they will vent about a client or customer who they feel is treating them very poorly. But they have to suck it up. They have to take it. 

When I think about why there is this behavior about “The customer” that makes business owners step on our own being and deny our truthful expression I come to one thing –  fear that loosing an unhappy customer will somehow hurt our business. 

I think we need to take a look at this belief and see it for what it is. It comes from fear and that is not the kind of energy that will further us in our lives or in business. If we look at it from the perspective of the Law of Attraction, the belief comes from scarcity. If we believe that there is finite number of customers that the universe has to offer us,  we’ll be afraid to loose any customer — even one who mistreats us. 

But there is more than that that happens when we don’t express how we feel when we have a customer who is treating us poorly, we close down out throat. We create that much more space between us and our authenticity. 

What if we express what we really felt in relationship to how we were treated? 

We may express anger. We may express sadness that the conflict occurred. We won’t be wasting precious energy on making “nice”. We won’t have the added stress of not being true to ourselves. We will be real to ourselves.

We will free up our energy to move as we give ourselves freedom to express our authentic feelings rather than be governed by an adage.

One more thing that I believe can happen is that in expressing your experience of that customer to them in a respectful way you may actually percolate something in them that can lead to them waking up just that much more.

In the process of being authentic you’ve given yourself the gift of being real and you’ve given the customer or client a mirror that could be the very thing they needed to help them heal.

Sit down and write a list of the beliefs you have about money, business, relationships, and so on. Think about things that you’ve swallowed as true without questioning them. Ask yourself if the belief is in alignment with you living the quality of life you want to live. Play with what it would be like if you that belief didn’t govern you anymore. You might be  to see how many you have and how many you’d love to let go of.

I’d love to know your thoughts about this subject. I know it’s a bit controversial but that is exactly what I think we meed to do. We need to look at the adages and self limiting beliefs that we are taught by our families and our society. Only when we come from choice do we have authenticity and without authenticity we can never have true personal freedom.

As always I’d love you comments,

Shulamit

www.limitfreeself.com

Remember playing in the rain as a kid? For my gift this year my husband took me to Fuerza Bruta, a show in NYC that can’t help but connect us to the child in us. Play the video and you’ll see what I mean. Imagine it’s you. Enjoy!

Tonight I was watching TV and one of the guests was the author of a book about success. He talked about the idea that it’s not talent that makes you become excellent at something, but having love for something that keeps you doing it to the extent that you become excellent at it. I didn’t understand this years ago. I thought it begins with a talent that you hone. Now after helping so many people in my practice I see that he’s right. it has to start with love. 

Many years ago a client of mine told me her husband could see colors over peoples heads. I was just starting my practice as an energetic healer and I was enthralled by the process of feeling energy and being able to feel the change in my hands when I was doing energy work with my clients. I asked her excitedly about what he was doing with his talent and she said he had no interest in it. He was going into business. I remember being taken aback. If that were me, I thought to myself, I’d have dived in head first into learning all I could about seeing energy. I’d refine my talent by constant study and use. At the time I didn’t understand that what was missing for him was the love of his talent. 

Through the years of my work Iv had clients who come in confused about their path. When I ask them what they love at times the person tells me “ I don’t know”. They have no passion at all. They can feel that there is something missing in them but they don’t’ know how to find out what it is or how to heal that disconnection inside themselves.

Recently I was at a New Years Eve party and over heard someone saying that she was “bored out of her mind” in her job. She had reached the level at work that she could and “ the problem is I can’t find any excitement about any other things to do. She wasn’t depressed she was passionless. 

How does this happen? Does it show up one day? Are we born that way? I don’t’  think so. We’re born bundles of curiosity and we have strong feelings about things. We show our passion for having our wants met by having tantrums. That’s how strong our passions are. Our loves show up in our play and we become enthralled with things. 

What kinds of things can shut that light off in us? Lots of things.

We get criticized when we have desires that are not considered acceptable by our parents. We get told that our desires won’t make us money, We get squashed by being in families that give us messages that strong feelings are not ok. The conclusions that we make about ourselves that result in these kinds of beliefs disconnect us from our muse, lock us away from our intuition and deaden the colors of our life’s dreams.

How do we get back to our passions.

One very effective way is to bring back to memory playing as a child. BUt what if you can’t remember what it was like to play as a child? Imagine what you’d play with now if you were a child. Would you make mud packs? Would you play with puzzles or legos. Would  you play video games? Would you sing or dance or write stories. Your child is in side you. If you were to spend time with you child what things would you love to share with that child. Keep in mind that you want to show that child joy so allow yourself to get outlandish and out of the box in your outings. 

Using Imagery: 

1. Sit quietly and make sure you won’t be disturbed. 
2. Center yourself in a way that’s comfortable to you. 
3. Allow yourself to see the child and have fun! Imagine all the details of the scenes that you can. Use all your senses. Feel the movements of your body. Look around and see the sites. What time of day is it? What smells do you notice? Are there foods that you can smell? See if you can smell the air. If your eating notice the taste. Feel it on your tongue. 
4. Go on that way until you’re in the scene and can feel your mood change as you do things that bring you joy. 
5. Do this process repeatedly over days. 

The more you connect with the inner child in you the more you’ll connect with the passions that will lead you to your path

Each day make sure to touch base with your child. Ask him or her what they want to do. Odds are they are not going to say “let’s vaccume or do taxes!

When you have past traumas or self limiting beliefs that have lead you to become disconnected from your passions. Emotional Freedom Techniques is a process that will clear these beliefs and neutralize the emotional charge of traumas that keep you disconnected from your inner being.

EFT is one of the energetic psychological techniques that involves tapping on certain acupuncture points while holding an issue in mind. In the process of doing that the issue that has you stuck looses its charge and you become free of it. 

Here is a simple EFT process for you to do that can help you get back to your core passions.

Using EFT:

1. Allow yourself to bring to mind your feeling of disconnection or “not knowing” you passion.
2. Stay tuned into your disconnection or feeling of “not knowing”  and do this simple tapping sequence. 
3. Find the fleshy area on the side of your hand between the bottom of your pinky and the top of your wrist. Take one hand and tap into the karate chop area of the other hand while repeating the sentence below three times.

“Even though I feel disconnected to my passion there is a part of me that remembers and  I deeply and completely accept myself.” 

Then, staying tuned into your feeling tap your fingers tips about 7 times on each acupuncture points below. 

• Top of your head 
• Brow ( where brow meets the bridge of nose)
• Side of eye (in front of temple)
• Under eye (on the cheek bone)
• Under nose
• Between mouth and chin
• Where your collar bone meets your rib near your breast bone
• Under your arm (about 4 inches below your arm pit)

Repeat this tapping cycle 3 times always tuning in and even saying the words “I feel disconnected to my passion.”

Do several rounds of the whole above process until you begin to feel energy loosen inside you. Signs of loosening stuck energy is yawning, sighing or feeling the energy move inside you.

If you find self limiting beliefs come up then replace the words in the statement with your belief. 

For example:

Even though “I was told artists don’t make money” and so on.

The more you do this process the closer you will get to your passions. 

Do this with each self limiting belief you have and you’ll get that much closer to what thrilled you deeply as a child and will bring you closer to the creator in you.

Its essential  for us to be connected to our passions since they unfold our purpose here. From that place our path to our success unfolds. 

I wish you to find joy in every step and if you see a ball and jacks on the way, they are probably mine!

Shulamit

If you’d like to share your experiences with these processes or want to know more about my work go to http://www.limitfreeself.com