The other day after a long day’s work I decided to watch some TV and happened on a bio pic about the model, Gia. Sadly, she died young of AIDS related to IV drug use. Throughout the move characters that represented Gia’s family and friends spoke about her. One thing that was talked about was an ongoing story she wrote when she was a little girl. She wrote about a girl with golden curls that everyone thought was beautiful. This girl with the golden hair lived in a beautiful house. The word beautiful was a running theme in her story. Gia herself had dark hair. Her mother was notably focused on Gia’s looks, noticing Gia’s pimples when she was in the process of detoxing from Heroine and making comments about her makeup. Gia was involved in a tumultuous attraction and relationship with another woman. That woman had blonder hair. She besieges this women with rooms of golden roses and calls her constantly until she finally tracks he down at her home. When she sees her she tells her “ You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen”
Gia not consider herself beautiful and had no sense of herself. She was terrified of being abandoned and clung desperately to her lover. She used drugs to kill the sense of discontent in herself. She found no sense in life.
It was clear from seeing Gia with her lover that Gia wasn’t having a relationship with this woman but what she needed that woman to be for her. To Gia, this was the beautiful girl she never got a chance to be because her mother never saw her real beauty. To Gia This was the (more…)
I have a client “Antonia”. A delightful middle aged woman who came to me many years ago for Holistic healing right after surgery for uterine cancer. She told me she had a sense that it was her negative thinking that created her cancer and she didn’t want it to come back. Back then I was primarily doing imagery work and Homeopathy and Energetic Healing with people to help them explore their issues and heal them. As I became a specialist in EFT we integrated EFT into our work and we cleared many of the negative energy patterns that she was handed by her family. To give you a sense of the fear she was surrounded by as she grew up, her grandmother told her that she hoped that Antionia would fail her driving test so that she wouldn’t be able to drive. When her mother wouldn’t feel well her mother would say “God doesn’t want people to be happy”.
Our issues are reflected in our bodies. Mostly they are held in subtle ways. With Antonia it was glaring. The family was fearful about Antonia growing up. Antonia stopped growing. She was taken to doctors to figure out what was wrong. Nothing was found. She stayed the size of a child. Antonia came from a religious Italian family and was sent to catholic school. She lived with her family until they died and inherited the family house where she lives to this day
Given that her family was riddled by fears she has made great strides in her growth and has remained cancer free. But one thing that has continued to be a problem for her is that she can’t feel God’s love. (more…)
Healing won’t happen unless every part of you agrees
It’s natural to believe ourselves when we say we are ready to move on or heal our issues. It can be back pain, a chronic illness, success issues, relationship issues or anything else for that matter.
As a society we are beginning to understand self limiting beliefs and how they create self sabotage when it comes to non physical issues but not when it comes to being ill or having chronic physical symptoms.
“ Sara” is a new client of mine. She was diagnosed with cancer and came to me for Emotional Freedom Techniques ( EFT) to heal a chronic depression. As we spoke she told me she had a history of pains that were never diagnosed. “ You have no idea how many doctors I’ve seen. No one knows what it is. They keep telling me there is nothing wrong. I have a fear that there is something very serious and they haven’t found it yet.”
I asked her if she had the pain right then and she said she did. She pointed to the left side of her abdomen.
Since through my many years as an imagery therapist I’ve seen again and again the brilliance and truth of the communications of our body through imagery, I felt that it would be good to do imagery with her to give her body a chance to tell her what might be going on. (more…)
Yesterday a client of mine came in and started off our session telling me about her back. “ The chiropractor said it;s taking along time to heal. He’s changed his diagnosis to possible herniated disc. But he won’t know till I do an MRI.’ She was referring to an injury she did to her back in yoga weeks before. She was in a yoga workshop and the teacher was calling for pairs to work together and having not paired yet she went over and asked someone to pair with her. “ The response she got from the young woman who agreed to pair what her was very off-putting. The girl avoided look at her and kept looking at some friends she had been with as if to say “ Oh my god I have to be with this old lady.” My client felt very uncomfortable but made her self stay with the girl against her own inner prompting. The teacher told everyone the back bend to do and my client did it and felt something go pop in her back. After that she felt discomfort in her back. When she came into me we cleared the back pain with EFT in about 20 minutes by tapping on how she hadn’t supported herself. For peace of mind she was going to go to her chiropractor as well. . Since then we had used out sessions for other issues. Last night she talked about how she was overloading her schedule with things she felt would make her grow. She had a sleepless night and woke feeling that she couldn’t pull out of the commitments. Using interactive imagery and EFT we addressed her not supporting herself never once addressing her back pain. At the end of the session she remarked looking at me with surprise“ My back pain is practically gone”
Herniated disc may be just another way of saying” I don’t support myself”
When we don’t’ pay attention to our feelings we force our body to carry the burden of them. —LITERALLY
Interactive Guided Imagery is powerful and creative tool for exploration of your inner being. EFT is stunning in its’ ability to clear self limiting beliefs. The two together used ot address issues are often nothing short of magical.
If you have any questions about these methods and how they may be helpful to you feel free to contact me.
I had an interesting interchange with someone today. he said “ Oh are you one of “ so and so’s people?” He was referring to a popular figure that I had taken a seminar from. I looked at him and said “ No, I’m not anyone’s person. I think he might have been offended but it was not a personal comment to him. It was something that had been in the tip of the tongue of my mind.
The universe works so beautifully. I had just been pondering that whole idea of idol worship and there he was with the question.
It’s no accident that we have a show in America called — American Idol. We have fun with the name and the whole process of choosing the “Idol” but I’ve been thinking more deeply about what idol worship is about. (more…)
Anyone that knows me knows that I will question anything. Maybe it’s because I was brought up in a very religious jewish family and was sent to parochial school where we studied the Torah. “Why” was the word we used all day long. We turned things upside down and inside out. “Why did he do this?” ‘Why did they say it like that?” We left nothing unquestioned. We would dissect the meaning of the placement of a dot!
Or, maybe it was because I was brought up to be a good little girl and trust all that my mom said. The only problem was my mom lied A LOT. So I was in a bind. I could believe my mom, feel accepted and be turned against my own truth or confront her on her lies and feel the force of her anger and the cold air where her acceptance once warmed me.
I chose acceptance. As children we all choose acceptance over truth. We have to. We die without it.
I denied my own truths until I had no sense of myself left. That forced me to go on a journey of finding and expressing my personal truths — an exploration that I think is essential and is core to my work with my clients.
But before we speak our truths to others we have to admit them to ourselves in the sacred space of our being. if we can’t even utter them to ourselves we can never hope to be free. (more…)
Freedom Technique can helps couples get in better sync
So many couples have problems that are a result of one being an extrovert and the other an introvert.
There is a misunderstanding that they both have to do with how social someone is or how many friends they have but it’s really all about the person’s nervous system. Introverts are over stimulated and they want to pull back from stimulus and the opposite is true for extroverts, of which I am, par excellence.
I LOVE loud music and shopping malls and big groups of people I don’t know. My sweet hubby is the opposite. When we visit Manhattan, he wants to get out of the city when we are in traffic and I love the electric energy of it. He hardly ever puts on music and I have something audio going on much of the day. I LOVE to multitask and he can’t handle if I say a word while he’s on the phone. Honey I cant hear you both!
Can you relate to this?
Its not personal. It’s our nervous system and with EFT you can normalize both extremes.
The Season's of forgiveness: The beauty of our natural cycle
Throughout the years I’ve been doing client sessions I’ve been seeing a phenomenon that’s increasing — a phenomenon I call spiritual correctness. Spiritual correctnessis the corollary to political correctness, but in the realm of spirituality instead.
People want to be spiritually evolved for many reasons. Some people believe that if they’re more spiritually evolved they’ll experience less pain in their life. That comes from the idea that attachment leads to suffering. There’s nothing wrong with believing that, but there’s no evidence that life is less painful if we’re more spiritually evolved. Some people actually experience more pain as they become sensitive to the world and experience deepening compassion for human kind’s sufferings.
Some people want to become more spiritually evolved out of a belief that they should be liberated from their ego. The ego is considered the root of human pain. They believe if they can get rid of the ego or subdue it they’ll finally have peace. With the goal of extinguishing the ego, they’re on the lookout for all the ways the ego expresses itself. That leads to self criticism which to save face stimulates the ego’s desire to see itself as better — creating a spiritual one upmanship that can lead to an inner spiritual arrogance.
In the process of trying to liberate themselves from their ego they inadvertently strengthen it. - a spiritual Catch 22.
When you hold that there’s a way that you are supposed to be or act as you grow spiritually or have a timeline for how things are supposed to show up inside you or how your supposed to feel, you begin to fake it. You don’t mean to — you just do. You begin to fool yourself about where you are rather than just be where you are. You begin to speak and act with spiritual correctness.
There are lots of attitudes that reflect spiritual correctness, They show up as beliefs about sexuality, money, success, and especially forgiveness.
I have a family member who works in the restaurant business. He tells me that some customers actually will spout at him “The customer is always right.” as they spew angrily at him about the food that they ordered. He has to get the manager and the manger has to go mollify the customer. The manager has to make nice.
I recently had a client stop sessions because I have a policy to not make appointments by email. I wanted to give her as much as I could within that policy and offered everything I could short of confirming an appointment by email. It would have taken a simple phone call to me to set one up but instead she kept sending emails. Her emails actually got lost in other email boxes. Technology is far from perfect.
Since we had no communication, I didn’t know that her emails were lost and her anger was building thinking I was ignoring them. By the time I found her email she had so convinced herself that I was ignoring them that she insulted me in her last email.
In the past I would have taken it. After all the customer is always right. Right? No. Not right. Just as we as business people are not always right. Our customers are not always right. No one is always right. (more…)
Remember playing in the rain as a kid? For my gift this year my husband took me to Fuerza Bruta, a show in NYC that can’t help but connect us to the child in us. Play the video and you’ll see what I mean. Imagine it’s you. Enjoy!
Tonight I was watching TV and one of the guests was the author of a book about success. He talked about the idea that it’s not talent that makes you become excellent at something, but having love for something that keeps you doing it to the extent that you become excellent at it. I didn’t understand this years ago. I thought it begins with a talent that you hone. Now after helping so many people in my practice I see that he’s right. it has to start with love.
Many years ago a client of mine told me her husband could see colors over peoples heads. I was just starting my practice as an energetic healer and I was enthralled by the process of feeling energy and being able to feel the change in my hands when I was doing energy work with my clients. I asked her excitedly about what he was doing with his talent and she said he had no interest in it. He was going into business. I remember being taken aback. If that were me, I thought to myself, I’d have dived in head first into learning all I could about seeing energy. I’d refine my talent by constant study and use. At the time I didn’t understand that what was missing for him was the love of his talent.
Through the years of my work Iv had clients who come in confused about their path. When I ask them what they love at times the person tells me “ I don’t know”. They have no passion at all. They can feel that there is something missing in them but they don’t’ know how to find out what it is or how to heal that disconnection inside themselves. (more…)
